When I was pregnant (40 years ago), I saw pregnant women everywhere… there were so many of us! But overnight, things changed. Once my daughter was born, there were no more pregnant women, just babies everywhere! It was a perfect example of how experiences shape our perception.. we notice what we are “tuned into”.
The same thing happened to me when I came out as a survivor of domestic violence. Shame and fear had kept me quiet and hidden for so long that I didn’t even want to see it in myself. When I was finally free and began sharing my story, I was amazed at how many other women there were like me. They were everywhere, all socio-economic levels, all walks of life, every background, race and religion. And they were smart. And strong. And courageous. And alive.
People often wonder how strong, smart women (and men) get stuck in abusive relationships. ‘Why can’t they just leave?’ people always ask. The mental and emotional consequences of abuse are complicated; shame, fear and PTSD keep us stuck in patterns that can seem insurmountable without help.
I was a lucky one. I had a therapist who saw the flags and gave me tools, I had friends and family who supported me without making me feel judged, and I had the Framingham Police and Women’s Protective Services who helped me navigate the legal and emotional journey of keeping myself safe. There are thousands who are not so lucky.
It takes a village. SMOC’s Voices against Violence is part of that village for hundreds of local people. Hundreds of people who are hidden in plain sight, silenced through shame and fear. It could be your neighbor, your friend, your cousin, your sister. Perhaps it’s you.
There is help, there is support, and there is a way out. It’s not easy. And it’s not a journey to be taken alone. This is why supporting the lifesaving services of our local Voices against Violence is crucial.
This September 23rd is their biggest fundraiser of the year: The Purple Passion 5K walk/run. The Gentle Place is sponsoring a fundraising team, and we ask that you please consider donating what you can to support this crucial local resource.
Your sisters, brothers and I thank you.
With gratitude and humility,
Donna
NEED HELP??
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Whether you are a young person, teen, college student, young adult or a senior, you should never feel unsafe in your home or in your intimate relationships.
You are not alone.
Reach out for help. |
Other Resources
Massachusetts statewide SAFELINK toll-free domestic violence hotline: 877-785-2020 or TTY 877-521-2601
- RAINN – Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
- FCAPC – Family and Child Abuse Prevention Center
- NDVH – The National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Jane Doe Inc – The MA Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
- SVNETWORK – The National Supervised Visitation Network